"Do You Think It Is Good To Beat Children?"

My interest in playing basketball was recently re-kindled and I am fortunate enough to have a basketball hoop right near my home here in China. Two days ago I was out shooting by myself, just trying to get some exercise, when a young boy, who is perhaps 7 or 8 years old, came up with his own basketball and started to chat with me. We would take turns shooting and he asked me why I am so good. I am, in fact, not that good, but it is easy to look like Michael Jordan when you are shooting with a child who can't get the ball to reach the hoop. He happily shared with me about some local customs, such as Chinese Lanterns, called tiān dēng (天灯) in Chinese, (see picture above) and each time I asked why such a custom was done, he would say, "I don't know, it's just a custom."

 The following day, I was out shooting and the same young boy came out with his basketball again. We started chatting again and he decided to educate me more about local customs and all things China. I often run into people like this in China. Because I am a foreigner and can communicate with them in Chinese, many feel that it is important to make sure that I know as much about China as possible. I once asked a Chinese person why this was the case and the response was, "because it is very hard to understand China and Chinese and we are proud of our country." My impression is that many Chinese feel like their country is perceived incorrectly and bullied and they are trying to set the record straight, one foreigner at a time.

 All of a sudden, the young boy told me that in China, it is common for parents to beat their children when they do something wrong. He asked me if I thought this was a good thing. For whatever reason, this often happens to me in China (and other foreigners who speak Chinese); people will open up about anything and everything. I think it is partially because I am perceived as being safely outside the community. The young boy's mother was within ear shot when he said this, on the balcony hanging laundry on the clothes line. I glanced over to see if she had heard what he said. She appeared to be going about business as normal. I replied that, in my country, there are also people who beat their children. I said I was not beaten as a child and did not want to beat my own children. He replied, "Oh...in China it is also common for men to beat their wives, do you think that is good?" I was a bit taken aback and replied, "I would never beat my wife, do you think it is good for a man to beat his wife?" The boy looked over at his mother, who didn't seem to hear the conversation we were having, lowered his head and quietly said, "no".

 If I were in my country, I would report a conversation like this to the authorities. However, here in China, I know there is nothing I can do about this. Beating children and wives, sadly, is accepted in many parts of China, especially rural areas and smaller towns such as where I live. I felt bad for the kid and we continued to shoot hoops. After about five seconds of silence, he launched into telling me about how he learned about aircraft carriers from a TV program. His face lit up as he proudly said that China has an aircraft carrier and that it is in Liaoning province. Then he asked me, "Do you think it is good to have war?" The conversation went on like this for a while until his mother called him home. I sat there shooting alone, not paying attention to my shot, because I was visualizing what it might look like for his father to beat him and his mother. It is a strange experience being a foreigner in China.