Creative Baby Name Ideas? Look No Further Than Chinese College Students!

I teach English at a college in China and, more often than not, a student will have arrived at college already having chosen his or her English name.   Often students want a name that sounds like or has the same meaning as their Chinese name.  This often leads to names that don't sound so spectacular in English.

There is a lot of variety in Chinese given names and there is a strong emphasis on having a unique name.  In a classroom in the English-speaking world, we often have multiple students named Jenny, John, Emily and Tim.  This is much less common in China.

Recently, I had a student who chose for herself the "English" name of Alexankrapoo.  After going to great lengths to explain why she shouldn't use this as her English name (nobody will understand it, you'll have to repeat it over and over, you don't want your name to contain the word 'poo' in it, etc.) she replied, "but it's unique!"  Who can argue with that?

I have had quite a few chuckles over the years at some of these names.  However, when I first chose a Chinese name for myself, it didn't turn out too well either.  I chose one of the most common surnames "Zhang" (张）.  Then, for my given name I decided to choose "Lang" (狼), which means wolf, because I thought it was cool and it was a common male name.  When I started telling people my Chinese name, I got a lot of smiles and chuckles until finally one of my students told me, "That can't be your name!  It's so bad!" Excitedly she opened the dictionary on her phone and said the word "Cockroach".  Her pronunciation wasn't so great, so I took a look myself.  Apparently, my surname and given name were just fine separately, but when combined, they sounded exactly like the Chinese word for cockroach.  So here I was going around telling everyone that my name was cockroach.  I soon asked a Chinese friend to choose a name for me, which I have stuck with since.

For your enjoyment, here is a list of names that some of my recent students have chosen for themselves.  Enjoy and I dare you to try to keep a straight face!

Males:

Yaw
Jessesom
Tank
Jeam
Jackshon
Black
Shortcoming
Teemo

Females: (I have a lot more femal students)

Coco
Widy
Jhang
Painting
Adamyeah
Tidy
Suxi
Yoyo
Sikia
Hellbe
Bubble
Ejo
Just-in
Panny
Rainy
Lumia
Tiny
Luna
Miumiu
Niko
Limb
Shooting
Jury
Dobby
Yellow
Black (apparently this is gender neutral...see male names above)
Can
Barrel
Rainbow
Starry
Queenie
Leeway
Green
Kobe
Zero
Raevint
Momoko
Ear

Why China Really Censors The Internet (And What It's Like to be Behind the Great Firewall)

Imagine not being able to use Google.  No big deal for you perhaps, you can just use another search engine, right?  I suppose, but you also cannot watch youtube.  Not a big deal either right, you can use vimeo.  Sorry, that's not available either.  Also, if you visit a website which has videos borrowed from youtube, you're not allowed to watch those either.  Oh, and you can definitely forget Gmail, Google+ and Blogger (what I am using to write this blog...explanation to follow). If you want to check real quick where a country or city is on the map, you're gonna have to go somewhere else besides Google Maps.  Oh, and don't you dare try to use Google Translate.  Heaven forbid!  Also, no Google Earth, Drive, News, Adsense, Hangout, Finance, or Analytics.  But, I guess that's too harsh, I'll let you use the Google Android operating system on your smartphone, but you defintely cannot use the Google Play Store to access its apps, only the pre-approved app stores that I choose (and they will NOT be in English).

Oh, I forgot to tell you that you also cannot use Facebook, Twitter, Wordpress, Dropbox, the unfiltered version of Bing, Yahoo Taiwan and Hong Kong, Blogspot, the mobile version of Wikipedia and anything with the word Tibet or VPN in it.  The list goes on and on.  Ok, have fun surfing the net!

Welcome to the other side of the Great Firewall of China.  It's a bit dull and boring over here and, if you don't happen to be able to read and type Chinese, it's kind if difficult to find your way around.  Feel free to use the Chinese search engine Baidu, though you will notice it doesn't give you quite the results you were looking for (unless that something happens to be based in China).

Oh, and I forgot to tell you, depending on where you are living, you may have to deal with an additional layer of restriction.  I have lived on a university campus that literally blocked every single non-Chinese website.  Fun!

The younger generations here laugh at me when I say I don't use Facebook or Google because I cannot get to them.  They tell me to "fanqiang (翻墙)", which means to "climb over the wall".  What they are referring to is what is internationally called a VPN (Virtual Private Network), which allows you to get around internet censorship controls...sometimes.  Not all VPNs are made equal.  I have been silent from this blog for months because, with the VPNs I have been using, it has been near impossible for me to get to Blogger.com and, once I am here, stay long enough to make a post.  I have recently upgraded to a VPN which is used by multinational companies with operations based in China. It's more expensive, but when I was no longer able to get to my bank or credit card's websites, I decided I had to upgrade.  I cannot begin to express what a delight it is to be able to see the colorful word 'Google' across my screen or to actually be able to watch a video on youtube.

The amount of time and energy that is wasted trying to monitor, control and get around the Great Firewall is absolutely ridiculous.

So why does China so strictly censor its internet?  Well, security of course!  At least, that is the official line and the internationally accepted reason.  The Chinese government is a stability-obsessed government whose favorite word is 'harmony'.  They fear losing control, so they clamp down.

There is another reason, however, which is often overlooked: money.  At one point, a bureaucrat and a businessman must have sat down over a nice meal of shark fin soup (a delicacy in China) and discussed how terrible it was that Google had all the control and was able to rake in the dough from all its advertising.  "Gosh," they said, "wouldn't it be awesome if we could just shove Google out of here and have complete control over what people search for and all the search engine advertising.  We could stock up on shark fins!"

That's somewhat exaggerated (maybe), but instead of allowing all that money to go to Google, it goes to Baidu (which is very much controlled by the Chinese government).  Instead of having people watch videos (and click on ads) on Youtube, they do it on Youku and Tudou.  Instead of allowing people to purchase apps through Google's app store (Google Play), they have no choice but to go to a home-spun version.  A lot of money, which would otherwise go to foreign competitors, is funneled to state-owned (or controlled) enterprises here in China.  A lot of valuable personal data is lost as well.  China also exports its censorship technology and techniques and is considered to be the model by many other regimes, which brings in a few bucks as well.

When I ask Chinese people (mostly 20 and 30-somethings) how they feel about all this, the inevitable answer is "mei banfa (没办法)" which means "there's nothing we can do about it".  I usually concede with a nod because, if I was Chinese, I'd keep my head down too. After all, you can get the death penalty for going against the wishes of the government.  

R.I.P. Google China, enjoy the rest of the world!

Understanding China: Face Trumps Truth

Do not underestimate the importance of understanding the Chinese perspective.  Your life will be more and more dominated by it as time goes by.

Those of us who did not grow up in China inevitably get China wrong again and again.  Policy makers, ambassadors, businessmen and women are often confounded by the Chinese world and cannot understand why things unfold as they do.  Stories abound of business dealings gone wrong with the clueless foreigner leaving China perplexed as to why it all derailed.  This especially plagues those of us from western civilizations.

An understanding of a few concepts can vastly improve relations with the Chinese people.  The Chinese perspective is significantly different from that of the West in a few key ways.  One of the most important concepts is usually referred to as "face".  "Losing face" essentially means being embarrassed or looking bad in front of other people. "Saving face" means making sure you don't embarrass someone.  "Giving face" means to make someone look good in the presence of others. 

Of course, to some extent, we all care how we are perceived by others, however this is taken to an extreme degree in China.  Read the following statement with care as it is crucial to operating successfully in the Chinese world: honesty and truth are not as important as harmony and saving face.  

This statement cannot be over-emphasized.  In the West, we place enormous value on the truth and honesty.  While these qualities are considered positive in China, they are much lower on the list than maintaining harmony.  The key to maintaining harmony is never to make someone lose face.  Saving and giving face are of immense importance to the Chinese, so much so that it is socially expected that you will lie and give face rather than be honest if it means embarrassing someone.  

A simple example will help explain how this concept colors every aspect of life.  Years ago, shortly after I began living in China, I travelled to the western part of the country.  One time, as I was stepping onto a public city bus, the driver waved me away, indicating I could not ride on the bus.  When I asked why, he said there were no seats.  I looked and saw multiple open seats.  Plus, if you have ever been on a bus in China you know that, if there is room to stand, there is room for you.  I pointed this out to the driver, who just kept repeating that there were no seats.  I stood there shocked as the bus driver closed the doors and drove away.

After sharing this with Chinese friends, I learned that the bus went to an area where foreigners were not allowed without a special permit.  This would be rather uncomfortable for the driver to explain to me and might make one or both of us feel embarrassed and lose face.  In order to preserve harmony, the driver came up with a lie which would keep either one of us from an uncomfortable face-losing situation.  By doing so, he kept the peace.

While truth and justice are trumpted in the western media, in China you hear about harmony.  Whether or not you agree with this, it is deeply a part of Chinese society.  An awareness of the importance placed on "face" in China is crucial to successfully engaging with and exploring this country which contains twenty percent of all humanity.

No Megaphones, Rabbits, Umbrellas or Handicapped People Allowed!

As I rode up the escalator to the largest supermarket in town, I saw this sign.  Being that the escalator does not pause to give you a moment to process the details of this sign, you can only assume that you had better be on your best behavior in this supermarket.

At the bottom of the escalator I had to put my backpack inside one of their security bags which they locked and would re-open when I left.  Once I got to the top of the escalator, the employee standing at the top frantically told me to put my pen in pocket.  I had in my hand a pen and a sticky-note on which I had written my grocery list.  I stared in confusion at her and, before I realized that she was talking to me, she guided my hand holding the pen into my pocket.  She explained that they sold pens here and I couldn't have mine out while in the store.  I showed her the English writing on the pen (I apparently got the pen from a bank somewhere in the US), but she wouldn't have it.  Her eyes darted around.  She acted like a prison guard who was letting a prisoner sneak in a bit of contraband.

As far as the photo above, the first row contains pictures of three acceptable behaviors: carrying a baby while riding the escalator, holding onto the rail and standing on the right side of the escalator (on an interesting side note, escalators are usually laid out in the opposite way as in the US, with the left side going up and right side going down).

The sign included some obvious prohibitions such as no playing with fire in the store, no smoking, no outside food and no spitting on the ground (still quite the issue in many places in China).  We are told not to play on the escalator, push children in strollers up the escalator, make loud noises or use video recording equiptment inside the supermarket.  Pets are not allowed and, for some reason, somebody decided that the animal which would best represent pets was the rabbit,  not the dog or cat.  You may protest that dogs and cats are also food for some.  Well, many Chinese also eat rabbit, so that argument doesn't explain it.  

Contrary to how I first interpreted it, handicapped individuals are in fact allowed into the store, they are just not permitted to use the escalator.  There is no elevator, so I guess they have to try their luck with the stairs.  Wet umbrellas are not allowed into the store either.  And, finally, we are reminded to take good care of our valuables.

Being a foreigner in China, I am often treated somewhat leniently, usually because it is assumed that I don't understand the rules or people don't want to try to explain them to me.  This time, however, I wasn't allowed to use my pen in the store.  Upon leaving, as I was walking onto the elevator, I noticed it had been raining and that person after person was entering the supermarket with dripping wet umbrellas, a clear prohibition! 

As I went down the escalator, I thought to myself, "maybe next time I will try bringing in a rabbit in a child's stroller and record the whole thing!"

Just Another Day in China (With Snakes, Smoking Pig Pit-masters and Plastic Baggie Criminals!)

My wife and I decided to ride our bikes around the city today.  We wanted a bit of exercise and to explore the parts of the city we had not yet been to.  We expected a relatively typical day and things ended up that way, at least from the perspective of someone living in China, it turns out.  When telling a friend (who has not been to China) about my day, I realized that I have gotten used to scenes which may be considered very unusual to others.  While it was just another day for my wife and I in China, it did have reptiles being sold as aphrodisiacs, BBQ salespeople dancing to techno music while wearing pig and monkey masks and a criminal being led into a police station wearing a thin, black plastic bag on his head.

About 5 minutes from our place we came upon a fair, or carnival, of sorts.  It was being held outside in a small empty lot.  It was a strange smattering of items including teas, women's underwear, reptiles being sold for medicinal purposes and viagra substitutes, dried fruits, a Taiwanese health drink (which looked and tasted suspiciously like Kool-Aid), a flower which was being hailed as a panacea for all health concerns and "genuine" bear-fur blankets.  

In the center of it all was a snack area which had for sale barbecued lamb and beef, fried whole crabs, oysters on the half shell, stinky tofu (which stunk up the whole place, but yet is very tasty) and a sour noodle soup.  Across from each other were two separate vendors selling BBQ, both of whom were playing music very loudly and wearing masks.  One guy was wearing the pig mask (in the picture above: he is pausing from his barbecuing and dancing to take a drag off his cigarette) and the other was wearing a monkey mask.   It took me a couple minutes before I realized that they were two characters from the Chinese literary classic "Journey to the West" (西游记).  They were having some sort of dance-off/cook-off.

The second picture above is of the items being sold by one of the vendors.  There are snakes, a large turtle, piles of snake heads and actual snake oil.   In the words of the vendor, "Long before there was Viagra, China had snake's blood!"  Just next to this stand was a camel and two peacocks.  The camel's nose was tied to a ladder and the peacocks legs were tied to platforms on either side of a porch swing.  It cost 10 RMB (About $1.67) to take a picture on the camel or between the peacocks.

After leaving the fair, we rode through a bumpy dirt rode and came out upon a relatively quiet area which had two very large gated houses with yards.  This was the first time I had seen such large houses outside of large cities such as Beijing and Shanghai and certainly the first time I had seen yards. The houses were relatively very large (maybe upper-middle class sized in the US) and had security cameras.  Clearly, these houses were owned by local officials or big-shots of some sort.  Looking more carefully, I could clearly see paint  peeling off, weather stains and mold growth.  In fact, upon further inspection, both houses seemed uninhabited.  This is not uncommon in China where there are often entire apartment complexes with hundreds of unused apartments.  It is an eerie thing to see a such a mini ghost town.  Because the Chinese government limits with how much money its citizens can take out of the country, bank account's interest rates are kept artificially low and the stock market has performed dismally for the past few years, many Chinese people have poured their savings into owning apartments which they never use.  Unfortunately for them, most of these are shoddily built and the government owns all of the actual land underneath.

On the way home we passed the local public security bureau.  We stopped in front of it so I could look up in my dictionary a Chinese character I was unfamiliar with.  Suddenly a white, windowless van pulled up and, out of the side door, two policemen escorted a handcuffed man out of the van and into the station.  Strangely, the man's head was covered by a thin, black, tiny plastic bag.  It is the type of bag that vegetable vendors usually put vegetables in, but not the heavy veggies, as they will rip through the bag.  It was so thin, in fact, that it was clear that the man could see through it.  There was a light wind, which threatened to blow the bag off and reveal the man's face (of which the small bag barely covered).  One policeman was constantly occupied with keeping the bag in place.  The man disappeared into a back room and a group of policemen sat and smoked cigarettes. 

I suppose this isn't a completely typical day for us here in China, but I didn't think of it as a day any more unusual than the others.  I guess, to those who have not been to China, reptile aphrodiasiac peddlers, pig-masked humans barbecuing lamb and beef while smoking, and criminals with small plastic baggies over their heads might be worthy of raised eyebrows.  It's amazing what we can get desensitized to.

One Country, Many Systems

I spent the past week in Macau.  In case you didn't know, Macau is part of China, but you need a passport to cross from Macau into China and vice-versa.  Macau has it's own separate government, but it is subservient to the government in Beijing, while at the same time being independent.  Don't worry, you didn't mis-read that last sentence.  China censors and regulates its internet and blocks certain websites, such as Facebook, Twitter and "The New York Times".  While Macau is part of China, you can freely access the internet in Macau.  Gambling is illegal in China and, though Macau is part of China, gambling is not only legal in Macau, it is the life-blood of the city. In fact, its gambling revenues are annually over four times that of Las Vegas.  The top picture (above) is of one of the casino districts (The second picture is of an "Earth Door Altar" which is seen all over the city and is constantly fed with incense, making the city very fragrant).  In China, the official language is Mandarin Chinese, while in Macau, they primarily speak Cantonese.  Portuguese is also written all over, as Macau was a Portuguese colony for about 450 years.  However, it was given back to China in 1999. 

CONFUSED YET?  Hong Kong has a similar story, though it was a British colony.  Macau and Hong Kong are the two "Special Administrative Regions of the People's Republic of China".  Quite a mouthful.  When the decision was first made to return Hong Kong to China, most outside observers, particularly from North America and Europe believed that Hong Kong would be swallowed up by China (as was East Germany after re-unification).  China said not to worry, it would be "One Country, Two Systems," in other words, Hong Kong would retain its own system of government, economy, etc.  Most in the West scoffed at this and prepared for re-absorption. However, we were wrong.  Today, Hong Kong and Macau are as different from Mainland China as they were under colonization.  We, in the West, repeatedly get China wrong because we interpret it from a western perspective and from western experience.  China, Hong Kong and Macau have managed, though often with much difficulty, to maintain separate systems (though, it is clear that Beijing has quite a bit of pull in both cities).  

To add to this, there is the issue of Taiwan.  China says that Taiwan is, and always has been a part of China.  Some Taiwanese and some foreign governments disagree, or at least choose not to comment on the issue.  China has numerous missiles aimed at the island and has vowed to take it back by force, if it declares independence.  Taiwan elects its own leaders, has a distinct political and economic system and has different visa rules.  From a western perspective, it is clearly a separate country.  But interpreting the situation in this way ignores the Mainland Chinese perspective.  As the Chinese show from Macau and Hong Kong, they see no reason that different places within one country cannot have completely distinct systems.  Adding to this confusion are the "Autonomous regions" in China such as Tibet, Xinjiang and Guangxi.  They are provinces of China, yet, at least in name, have relatively more self-determination.  

This is confusing and enigmatic to an outside observer, however, it is important for outside observers to attempt to understand that this makes sense to most Chinese.  I hesitate to use the analogy, though it is, in some ways, similar to the European Union being united yet containing distinct countries with their own systems.  

In any case, Macau really does have a very different feel than Mainland China.  Macau is much more organized, sanitary and cosmopolitan.  In Mainland China, cars do not stop for pedestrians, in Macau, they usually do. If you could stand on top of the border crossing between Macau and Zhuhai (the city just inside China across the border) you could clearly see the different systems in practice.  

In China, there are few words more cherished that "united".  The government in Beijing  is constantly emphasizing the importance of keeping the country united.  So, China watchers tend to be on the edge of their seats to see if, in fact, China can maintain one country with so many different systems.  Keeping the civilization of China united is much easier than keeping the country of China united.  In other words, keeping China "united" depends very much upon how "Chinese" the people of Macau, Hong Kong and Taiwan feel, how much they identify themselves with China.  

If you are confused....good.  That means you are being pulled from of your comfort zone and closer to an understanding.  If you are not confused...good.  That means you understand an important aspect of this rising civilization/country.  

Crossing the River by Feeling for Stones

The Chinese have a phrase: 摸石头过河 (MōShítouGuòhé) which literally translates as "Feel Stones Cross River" and usually is translated as in the title above.  The meaning is to improvise by trial-and-error; to deal with problems as they arise and adjust for problems as they occur. So, imagine going up to a river and deciding you were going to cross it, with no preparation and no forethought. Stick one foot in and see if you can find a stone to stand on.  Once you find one, feel for another.  If you slip and fall, hopefully you don't drown.  If you are in the middle of the river and suddenly run out of stones, tough luck.  The Chinese government itself has, in the past, declared that this would be their policy for dealing with the modernization of China.

This type of thinking is rather foreign for me, even though I have been in China for years.  I am aware of it, I do my best to accept it and go with it, but it is still very difficult for me to deal with.  It just goes against my grain.  For example, I teach at a college in China.  At every place I have taught in China, I have been given the chosen textbooks either the day before class begins or, a few times, weeks after school has started.  When there are school holidays and I want to book tickets for travel, I have to wait until Beijing makes a decision as to exactly which days school will be out.  Beijing contacts my provincial government, who in turn contact the city government who then contact the local education bureau and they then contact the school's president who passes it down the ranks until it reaches me, at the bottom of the totem pole.   Suddenly, the prices of tickets sky rocket and get sold out fast.  My classes and schedule for the school year are always arranged and given to me the evening before school begins.  I asked a Chinese teacher how she deals with this and she quoted the title of this post.  I guess you just deal with it and figure it out last minute.  I could go on and on with examples.

I grew up being taught to "think and plan ahead", "think long-term", "be prepared", etc.  While it is easy for me to point out the negatives of "Crossing the River by Feeling for Stones", I can also see some value to this perspective.  It does eliminate the stress one may feel while preparing and planning; any stress is much more short-lived and occurs "in the moment".  Also, it doesn't appear to bother most Chinese who are simply used to it and know no other way.  The Chinese people, in general, are the most adaptive people I have encountered.  I have found that in the larger, more developed cities, there is slowly becoming more and more tension with this practice.  However, outside of the most developed cities, it seems to just be the way things are.  There is a similar way to say this in Chinese: 顺其自然 (shùnqízìrán) which translates into the more chicken-soupy sounding, "go with the flow".  After all, this is the heart of Daoist philosophy, which was deeply rooted in the Chinese psyche centuries ago.  I guess it is hard to fight centuries of habit.

Oops.

I wonder which came first: the pole or the road.  And who thought this was a good idea?  Or at least good enough to leave it.  I guess this isn't the worst I have seen however.  The other day I was walking near a construction zone and I noticed two huge holes each about 5 x 5 feet. One was about 2 feet deep, the other was at least 4 feet deep.  Between the two holes was a large pile of sand, in which two young kids were playing.  An arms length behind them was, what appeared to be a live electrical wire.  Within a short distance of the wire was a puddle of water.  You couldn't paint a more dangerous scenario.  

In general, I feel very safe in China. I do not fear a break-in, a murder, suicide bomber, kidnapping, etc. Of course, these things do happen.  As long as you fly straight and stay away from religious propagation and meddling in official affairs, the government will overlook you.  My chances of being pick-pocketed, however are somewhat high.  

Danger comes, however, when you are unaware of what is going around you.  Traffic is a no-holds-bar blender of pedestrians, cars, trucks and electric bikes.  You must declare your intentions and you must do so with very little thought.  If you want to cross the road on foot, wait for a small break in traffic and just start walking in front of the on-coming cars (my mother is probably having a heart-attack reading this).  They will slow down, but they will also assume you will continue at the pace you are going and if you don't, they will come uncomfortably close to you. Rule #1 is to follow and stay in the crowd. 

The unexpected is the other major danger here in China.  Case in point: the pole in the photo above.  You just never know what might be around the corner.  Long-term planning and preparation are simply not a common part of the culture and the Chinese, in general, are some of the best jerry-riggers in the world.  They are also quick thinkers and very adaptable people.  Things here are not built to last, they are built to be patched and jerry-rigged and repaired.

Everyone has experienced this scenario: you are walking and you see someone approaching you, someone who plans to walk past you.  You move to one side or the other, declaring your intention and they do the same and, before you come within reach of each other, it is fairly clear who is going where and nobody bumps into anyone.  Sometimes, however, there is a glitch and the intentions are not in sync and we end of having to stop our stride, blush a bit and say excuse me as we try not to slam into each other. This requires quick reactions, rather than planning and forethought.  When walking on the streets of China, this is a constant occurrence.  You have to be on your toes, you have to react.  I suppose this is probably a common occurrence in many densely packed areas, especially in less-developed, less-organized countries.

To walk the streets of China, you need this mind set.  You need to react and go with your gut, follow your instinct.  You have less time to prepare.  It keeps the brain cells firing and maintains a heightened level of awareness, but can be exhausting.  I see this type of thinking everywhere in China, in all levels of interaction and all activities.  It permeates the Chinese mind and, unless one has spent much time in other areas or countries, seems to be viewed as the only option.

I am not sure if you, who is reading this, will think that this is of little consequence, however, in my mind, this has enormous implication.  It helps to explain much here in China and, an awareness of this mindset, is one of the keys to understanding how China and the Chinese think and act.  Businessmen and women interacting with China must take note.